Dbeda Forum

Is there anything you are tired of explaining to people?
If yes, what's it?
Let's go...

In third world countries, if you're from there, we all know how difficult it could be to find a great paying job after graduating, I don't want to use the word "well-paying", because what I mean is really jobs that can scale one out of a lower class to standard middle class or even maybe the begining of upper class within a not so long duration.

Now, I see some privileged individuals on social media these days for the sole purpose of discourging or demoralising others not to go below certain salary range, of course I'm not talking about too poor salary but you still see these privileged people saying all sorts about jobs that pay reasonable amount which is enough for quality standard of living.

You hear things like, I earn 700k monthly, how on earth would you go for a job of 250k?

Most of these unprivileged people tend to be discouraged by letting talks like this get to them. This is exactly where I'm trying to arrive at.

I'm tired of telling people that privilege is not a birthright for everyone and they should stop discouraging others.

I'm also tired of telling people to stop being discouraged as everyone can not be privileged, in fact, in third world countries, only few percent can be this privileged, I mean very few, but internet today has made it seem like they are the majority, c'mon, that's not the reality.

For those unprivileged at the moment, I want you to know that with hardwork and perseverance, you could beat these privileged ones someday. Just don't stop, but I wish they could listen and that's why I'm tired of explaining.

This is Vitalik Buterin👇

This is Mark Zuckerberg👇

They both have something in common.
They became billionaires at a very young age, under 30.

We have people like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos who became billionaires in their 30s.

We have people like Elon Musk, Mark Cuban who became billionaires in their 40s

And we also have people like Warren Buffet, Colonel Harland Sanders who made it to the wealth list in their 50s and 60s respectively.
Image of Colonel Sanders👆

I'm tired of explaining to people that we all have different timings, and what matters is not to give up, of course, few would hit it big early but not everyone can. Continue the race till you win, that's what counts.

Oftentimes, we hear women being maltreated and being abused in marriages. We've seen cases where a physical abuser ended up taking the life of his wife.

I'm just tired of telling women that it's better to be single than to marry an abuser.

Some women know they are with a bad partner and despite that they go ahead with marriage claiming time is no longer by their side, no time is late when you meet a reasonable man who's ready to be with you and carry you in his heart.

I will not exclude men too because some women are troublesome and we have seen same cases with men as well, where abusive woman end up taking the life of the husband.

Don't settle if you know you won't be happy with that person, there are always red flags and if you're already in a marriage with an abusive partner, LEAVE NOW.

I'm tired of telling people that Canada scam immigrants and if you can't do menial jobs that most of their citizens aren't ready to do, you shouldn't go there, except maybe for vacations.
No matter how wonderful your qualifications and work experience is from where you are coming from, Canada only has menial jobs for you. If you want to migrate, research well and go to better countries.

Quote from: Fireburns on Sep 27, 2024, 10:00 PMI'm tired of telling people that Canada scam immigrants and if you can't do menial jobs that most of their citizens aren't ready to do, you shouldn't go there, except maybe for vacations.
No matter how wonderful your work experience has been, Canada only has menial jobs for you. If you want to migrate, research well and go to better countries.

No lies, got a friend there that's spending close to 3 years without a job, dude used to be one of the top managers in a top company back in our homeland, he keeps spending huge money without getting anything in return, thank goodness he is from a well off background. Pathetic.

I'm tired of telling people everyone is not the same and can't be, we have different personalities.
A friend once said to me "so you didn't go out for Christmas and you wouldn't go out for New year, does it mean you don't have anyone to meet?. That means you are a terrible person."

One of the worse things I have heard in my life, I avoid crowd like plague. Functions and events make me uncomfortable as an introvert, in fact, if I occasionally go out to dine and wine with people, I usually return home with sickness, it's not my thing and when I want to be with family, I go to them. I hardly have friends, people are very exhausting to me, I have got a couple in the past but gosh.

Occasions like Eid, Christmas e.t.c do not impress me much, I thank God for these days but throwing huge celebration means little to nothing to me. I don't even celebrate birthdays and I don't generally like birthday celebrations. It's nothing, those things just mean little to nothing to me, if I need to celebrate it and I have enough provision for it, I would give alms to the needy not throwing a party.

You are totally opposite, right? Fine, I understand, but don't talk to me like trash because I'm not like you. I'm not you and can't be you, we aren't wired the same way please. I respect and understand your personality so you should respect and understand that of others as well but no, most people don't wanna get few of us because they are the majority.

Freaking tired of explaining people are different and stop expecting the same you from others.

Quote from: Kemkem on Sep 27, 2024, 10:22 PMI'm tired of telling people everyone is not the same and can't be, we have different personalities.
A friend once said to me "so you didn't go out for Christmas and you wouldn't go out for New year, does it mean you don't have anyone to meet?. That means you are a terrible person."

One of the worse things I have heard in my life, I avoid crowd like plague. Functions and events make me uncomfortable as an introvert, in fact, if I occasionally go out to dine and wine with people, I usually return home with sickness, it's not my thing and when I want to be with family, I go to them. I hardly have friends, people are very exhausting to me, I have got a couple in the past but gosh.

Occasions like Eid, Christmas e.t.c doesn't trick me much, I thank God for these days but throwing huge celebration means little to nothing to me. I don't even celebrate birthdays and I don't generally like birthday celebrations. It's nothing, those things just mean little to nothing to me, if I need to celebrate it and I have enough provision for it, I would give alms to the needy not throwing a party.

You are totally opposite, right? Fine, I understand but don't talk to me like trash because I'm not like you. I'm not you and can't be you, we aren't wired the same way please. I respect and understand your personality so you should respect and understand that of others as well but no, most people don't wanna get few of us because they are the majority.

Freaking tired of explaining people are different and stop expecting the same you from others.

Lol. Sorry about your experience with your friend but from personal experience as an introvert too, your friend is better, he says his mind, all you had to tell him was your mind too. Some would just conclude you have pride or you are difficult to get along with. I don't stress about it anymore, you understand, your good, you don't, your problem.

Quote from: Kemkem on Sep 27, 2024, 10:22 PMI'm tired of telling people everyone is not the same and can't be, we have different personalities.
A friend once said to me "so you didn't go out for Christmas and you wouldn't go out for New year, does it mean you don't have anyone to meet?. That means you are a terrible person."

One of the worse things I have heard in my life, I avoid crowd like plague. Functions and events make me uncomfortable as an introvert, in fact, if I occasionally go out to dine and wine with people, I usually return home with sickness, it's not my thing and when I want to be with family, I go to them. I hardly have friends, people are very exhausting to me, I have got a couple in the past but gosh.

Occasions like Eid, Christmas e.t.c doesn't trick me much, I thank God for these days but throwing huge celebration means little to nothing to me. I don't even celebrate birthdays and I don't generally like birthday celebrations. It's nothing, those things just mean little to nothing to me, if I need to celebrate it and I have enough provision for it, I would give alms to the needy not throwing a party.

You are totally opposite, right? Fine, I understand, but don't talk to me like trash because I'm not like you. I'm not you and can't be you, we aren't wired the same way please. I respect and understand your personality so you should respect and understand that of others as well but no, most people don't wanna get few of us because they are the majority.

Freaking tired of explaining people are different and stop expecting the same you from others.

ROTFL @birthday, it's as if you are referring to me.
I had to tell the admin person it wasn't my birthday at my former workplace when it actually was, I couldn't imagine standing especially in the midst of colleagues not family and they start clapping hands and cutting cakes for me all in the name of birthday.
Whatever you think is your headache but hey! I'm not gonna stand there simply to receive claps and birthday songs...like WTF!
I escaped it and that was a relief. If I start another work today and I notice that's their culture I'm gonna tell them right from time that I don't celebrate birthdays👌
Call me whatever but telling them from the beginning would save both myself and the company a whole lot of stress.

I've got two close colleagues, a female and a male.
Female - Sandra (not the real name)
Male - Gabriel (not the real name)

Sandra stays with her married sister, in an highbrow area close to where our office is located, she uses the latest gadgets buy expensive hairs, always ordering food, she has no responsibility and nothing to worry about apart from wanting to always live a luxury lifestyle.

Gabriel manages in an uncle's place, a place not comfortable for him, he tries to rent an apartment of his own and he was saving up.

Funny thing, in my office, we have more privileged people like Sandra.

One day, Gabriel told me he wants to buy a new phone while still saving up and hustling for accommodation and materials needed after getting the accomodation. Really!
How suddenly should lastest phone becomes an adult's issue when you have more pressing needs. It isn't like the mobile phone you are currently using is giving you any kind of problem.

But because Gabriel is always with Sandra and more people like Sandra who undermines and badmouth people living within their means because they have more responsibilities to shoulder, he deemed it fit to get a phone instead.
Although, he had a rethink and finally didn't touch his savings until he got a place.
However, there are many people like Gabriel out there dancing to the tune of peer pressure, I would have understood as an adolescent but as an adult! That's fvcking ridiculous.

I'm tired of telling people you don't need to copy others or do what others are doing, needs and priorities are different and you should always cut your coat according to your size.

This is Aliko Dangote

The richest man in Africa at the moment.
His maternal grandfather, Alhaji Sanusi Dantata, father of Dangote's mother, Hajiya Mariya was a wealthy businessman until his death on April 15,1997, he was one of the wealthiest in West Africa during his time. Aliko's uncle gave him full financial support when he wanted to start his own business, money has never been a problem in the family.

Below is Hadeel Ibrahim beside her father Mo Ibrahim, the Sudanese-British billionaire businessman.

Hadeel became the executive director of her father's foundation at the age of 22. She was just 22 years old when she became an executive director of a high standard foundation in the year 2006.

We all want to be like them at a very early stage. We hardly consider the fact that these people have backings and adequate support. In the process of your own struggle, you still need to support your parents, no where to go to when things are tough and you expect to be at the same pace with these people. How possible is that?
Billionaires aside, a little brother to a start up company's CEO wouldn't start from where you are starting. Know that and know peace.

If not nowadays where we have scalable businesses like tech business that can suddenly change one's story, success stories like that of  Hadeel's and Dangote's were usually the commonest, still much more common till today.

The race is different, keep calm and stop worrying unnecessarily, but would today's youths listen?
It's the same old story, I want to be like this, like that in a short while.

Is Dangote any different?
Does Dangote have two heads?
He has more than two, you're seeing his grandfather's head, his mother's head, his uncles' head and more on top of his neck, not just his, he had adequate backings and still has.

I'm tired of explaining this to people, stop giving yourself unnecessary stress and focus on your own pace.

I'm tired of telling people it is not compulsory to have children.
You can live well till the end of your life without having children, just try and make reasonable amount of money enough to cater for your needs, you do not even need to be an Eldorado to accomplish this.

Although having children has its own advantage but not having children does too.
If you see people who do not want to have children, don't preach to them, let them be, it's their choice and it's better than having children you can not cater for.

Same goes for marriage, it mustn't be for everyone.

I'm tired of telling men that you can't want or have all in all in a woman, she isn't a machine, she's a human like you. Even a machine would break down as time goes.

Why would you want a nanny, a maid, a mother, a wife, a chef and a financial responsibility sharer in just a single person?
Why?
It's not possible, if you want a woman who's going to be responsible for housework and caring for the children alone, marry this kind of woman but don't complain she's a burden or a liability. Be 100% ready to make provisions for all her needs and that of the children, even at that, you would still need to help sometimes if you don't want her to worn out fast.

If you need a career woman that could share responsibilities with you, marry her, but don't expect her to work 8-9 hours daily and still come back to heaven and earth chores, expect her to pamper you like a child and pet the children around. So you two should make arrangements to sort things.

You either take one, stop fantasizing impossibility and think it's going to work for you. Think about it...can you do all these yourself?
It doesn't work that way, they are humans.

I'm tired of telling people that children are not investment, take care of yourself.
You need to take care of your children too because you brought them to this world but that shouldn't stop you from taking care of yourself. Plan well for your retirement, economy worldwide is no longer like before.
Look around, we now have adults who can hardly feed themselves not to talk of reserving for any other person. They are of age yet not thinking of marriage because how would they care for the family?

Things are no longer like the past decades and I'm afraid it shouldn't continue that way. Children are not investments, take care of your children but not with the aim of them taking your full responsibility in the future. If they have, no issues, of course, we all pray to be able to take proper care of our older ones but what happens if they are not capable?

I understand when talking about our own parents, things were not like this and no one knows things could turn this way but what surprises me is seeing younger parents of nowadays having the same mission and vision that they're investing on their children so those children could take care of them in the future. I hope things don't get worse, I just hope...

Quote from: Hamani on Sep 29, 2024, 11:05 PMBut what surprises me is seeing younger parents of nowadays having the same mission and vision. I hope things don't get worse, I just hope...

Do you mean worst or terrible?
Things are already worse buddy.
Great point.

I'm tired of telling parents especially African and Asian parents to stop mounting pressure on their matured children to get married. They end up pushing many of them into the wrong hands, for some people marriage will come early and for others it will be kind of late.
The main point is that it should worth the wait.
Parents stop putting pressure on your children to get married.

I'm tired of telling people not everyone is or could be kind, some people are pitiless, mean, inhumane. They are not and can not be kind no matter how much you preach the gospel.
Therefore you need to treat people according to who they are, being fair is not when you return inhamanity with humanity, being fair is when you as a kind person returns unkindness with the same unkindness, so everyone gets a portion of their own poison.
Fairness is being kind to a kind person and being cruel to a cruel person.
Stop wasting your time preaching to unkind people, they wouldn't change except you are steadily giving them a portion of their own poison.

Quote from: Dochiekochie on Oct 04, 2024, 08:01 PMI'm tired of telling people not everyone is or could be kind, some people are pitiless, mean, inhumane. They are not and can not be kind no matter how much you preach the gospel.
Therefore you need to treat people according to who they are, being fair is not when you return inhamanity with humanity, being fair is when you as a kind person returns unkindness with the same unkindness, so everyone gets a portion of their own poison.
Fairness is being kind to a kind person and being cruel to a cruel person.
Stop wasting your time preaching to unkind people, they wouldn't change except you are steadily giving them a portion of their own poison.

I concur only then are we going to have a better world. Why do you have to pay evil with kindness and think you are doing what's right?
Bring out that little evil in you also to pay their evil, let them know how it feel, insted of allowing them to take kindness for granted at all times.

I see some people criticizing others about not flaunting their family or spouses online, this is very common in this era of social media. Why's she not showing her husband? Perhaps she snatched someone's husband, perhaps they are not living happily together.

I also see some people criticizing others for frequently flaunting their spouses or family online. They're always busy uploading pictures and videos, are they the only couple on earth?

When a couple like that of latter gets separated, these folks criticizing around come out and say things like, 'why wouldn't it end this way?, you flaunt your spouse too much, couldn't you guys just stay offline?'

If a couple like that of former gets separated, you might not even know because they never were fond of showing their lives or themselves to the public.

Where am I going precisely? I'm tired of telling people to stop dictating to others how they should live their lives, don't force your personal beliefs or values on others. If a couple like to show off and they have the time, let them enjoy it.

If they do not, let them enjoy it. A marriage that will break will break no matter what, and although, it might not be cool but it's not a crime if people fall out of love and go their separate ways. While together, let them enjoy themselves through any means they believe could be fun.
You like flaunting your spouse? Flaunt.
You naturally do not like flaunting? Don't.

Stop body shaming others. Yeah, that's what I'm tired of telling people.

A footballer's girlfriend of many years was once body shamed online by a lot of people, she was condemned for not having a perfect weight.

It's not your business how others look, there's diversity in humans in all manner.

I was browsing through the social media of recent and came across someone body shaming a popular actor for not keeping fit, comparing his over 20 years picture to that of present, gosh! I don't understand how someone could be so slow. What's there to compare in how someone looked 20 years ago to the present stage?
Do you as a person think you're gonna look the same forever?
You have the ability to exercise well at the moment and look good and you think that's how you're going to be forever?
You look at someone, you don't like their look, it's allowed, they're not your spec, right? Just pass, don't criticize them.
I'm tired of telling people that the fact you are exercising and it's working for you doesn't mean everyone would be able to. Thank God for the strength given to you and if you fancy cosmetic surgery, not every other person do. Their health? Leave that to them and God, moreover if it's not in excess nothing is gonna happen to them health-wise.

The worse is some spouses criticizing their significant other for body changes after marriage.
Fvck! People will change, and if you have this mentality of people remaining the same or remaining as sexy as ever. Don't marry.