Dbeda Forum

I met someone and while we were talking said he just had his third child with his longtime girlfriend.  I was surprised and said why are you referring to your wife as a girlfriend? Then he told me that's just a title he could have called her wife if he desired but since they're not married, it's nothing.
This surprised me even more. Why are you guys not married after three kids? Then he said it's normal in Norway😲.
Is this a cultural or traditional norm in Norway?

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Ok Ruthk.
I want you to know to live-in has turned to a very normal thing to do in Norway because,
1) We are not very religious people
2) Wedding is pretty expensive in Norway
3) When couple have children, they are more committed both to themselves and the children.

This doesn't mean we do not get married, we still do but later in life.

If there's anything that surprise Norwegians, it is the idea of outsiders getting married few years to knowing eachother. It's isn't a culture but it's almost turning to it.

We call it "samboerskap", it means live-in or cohabitation, it's more common. Only the minority religious people go outside of this, only them usually marry before starting a family. We do not consider it as anything to frown upon in the entire Scandinavian. I have been living in with my boyfriend for over 6 years and we have a boy.

We are leaving the rest of the world behind, just maybe😅
It's more of a norm nowadays.  Live-in relationship and marriage have almost the same ranking as per Norwegian law, not sure if it's to the fullest. I have been living-in with my present girlfriend for about 3 years, lived with my ex for more than 3, no kid yet.
We take marriage very seriously, it's not a light thing that you're supposed to first get certificate before properly stepping into.

Quote from: Knut on Oct 10, 2024, 12:55 PMWe are leaving the rest of the world behind, just maybe😅
It's more of a norm nowadays.  Live-in relationship and marriage have almost the same ranking as per Norwegian law, not sure if it's to the fullest. I have been living-in with my present girlfriend for about 3 years, lived with my ex for more than 3, no kid yet.
We take marriage very seriously, it's not a light thing that you're supposed to first get certificate before properly stepping into.

I don't think the law covers 100% but you're right to large extent. For example you have to sign a paper when your girlfriend delivers a child to claim the paternity, not needed if you're married.

Quote from: Larsenov on Oct 10, 2024, 01:01 PMI don't think the law covers 100% but you're right to large extent. For example you have to sign a paper when your girlfriend have a child to claim the paternity, not needed if you're married.

No kids yet, but I think this has been cancelled.

Quote from: Knut on Oct 10, 2024, 01:02 PMNo kids yet, but I think this has been cancelled.

Not sure, last we had a child was almost 4 years ago and I signed.

Some get married later in life while some do not bother. Marriage is just to throw a lavish party which you can do whenever you are comfortable throwing the party.
I got married at exactly 10 years after cohabiting, that was 2 years ago. Honestly aside from the party, I didn't see any special thing about it, hubby says the same.

It's quite normal, what's strange is getting married without fully getting to know yourselves. I don't see any reason to get married anytime and girlfriend doesn't too, it's been 11 years and we have two kids.

In Scandinavia, if you want to start a legitimate family, we believe marriage should be a  personal choice, instead of being for financial or legal purposes. I'm a Swede.

Quote from: Knut on Oct 10, 2024, 12:55 PMWe are leaving the rest of the world behind, just maybe😅
It's more of a norm nowadays.  Live-in relationship and marriage have almost the same ranking as per Norwegian law, not sure if it's to the fullest. I have been living-in with my present girlfriend for about 3 years, lived with my ex for more than 3, no kid yet.
We take marriage very seriously, it's not a light thing that you're supposed to first get certificate before properly stepping into.

If you're married and a partner isn't working you pay less tax which is not applicable if you're not married. There are slight differences but they're just slight.

We do not follow crowd or morals that we view as unnecessary and we are very independent in running our own system.
Throughout the world, how many youths of nowadays do not have sex before getting married? In a place like the US, it's even worse.
So what's the need for being dishonest to God if you truly think marriage is one of the religious norm?
We believe it should be the normal thing to do and in Norway, marriage is marriage not for the purpose of gaining anything or to exploit the other person.
If people are comfortable cohabiting, we believe it just should be left that way.

If this kind of relationship has been established for a while, our law consider it as formal union and you have all the right as that of formal union with your spouse, so a lot of people do not see the need for marriage, it's common in Scandinavia generally.
Besides, marriage is very expensive in Norway, you spend as much as 130,000-150,000 NOK on an average wedding in Norway, excluding honeymoon.

When I was new here and I read this 👉 (celebration of wedding anniversary instead of wedding ceremony). Scandinavian wedding was what came to my mind.
Some people on the thread were saying many culture and religion is against it. I said to myself, that means Scandinavians have left cultural things behind and that means we are possibly ahead of others as regards cultural development. It's not a big deal in Scandinavia @Op, and yes, it's becoming a norm.
Why?
Maybe because people just want to be themselves and stop worrying about satisfying culture and religion.

Quote from: Bolevinaka on Oct 10, 2024, 06:14 PMWhen I was new here and I read this 👉 (celebration of wedding anniversary instead of wedding ceremony). Scandinavian wedding was what came to my mind.
Some people on the thread were saying many culture and religion is against it. I said to myself, that means Scandinavians have left cultural things behind and that means we are possibly ahead of others as regards cultural development. It's not a big deal in Scandinavia @Op, and yes, it's becoming a norm.
Why?
Maybe because people just want to be themselves and stop worrying about satisfying culture and religion.

Yeah, I remember the thread as I'm reading this too. It's more like Norwegians are celebrating successful years of peacefully living together when they finally decided to wed. That's cool.