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Posted by Mafy
 - Sep 09, 2024, 08:01 PM
Quote from: SweetNamida on Sep 09, 2024, 08:01 PMShe must have felt, well, let this slide but he kept repeating those silly things over and over again. I guess what she meant was just that she distinctly knew at that point that he would never be a good husband or father, and her love for him greatly diminished in her heart, not that she was actually willing to pack out at that point.
Maybe
Posted by SweetNamida
 - Sep 09, 2024, 08:01 PM
Quote from: Mafy on Sep 09, 2024, 07:56 PMNot criticizing her, just shocking how she was able to deal with it for that long.
She must have felt, well, let this slide but he kept repeating those silly things over and over again. I guess what she meant was just that she distinctly knew at that point that he would never be a good husband or father, and her love for him greatly diminished in her heart, not that she was actually willing to pack out at that point.
Posted by Mafy
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:56 PM
Quote from: Ruthk on Sep 09, 2024, 07:54 PMYes, I know. We should also understand she didn't want to be selfish 'cause of her children. She wanted them to have a father figure till they were grown. Left for her alone, I guess she would have left that long time ago.
Not criticizing her, just shocking how she was able to deal with it for that long.
Posted by Ruthk
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:54 PM
Quote from: Mafy on Sep 09, 2024, 07:48 PMNumber 17 is the baddest of them all, just like someone saying I knew right from few years after marriage this can't be forever but had to wait for 16 good more years to get it disentangled.
@Ruthk , your covertness is learning where that woman's is.
Hope you know.
Yes, I know. We should also understand she didn't want to be selfish 'cause of her children. She wanted them to have a father figure till they were grown. Left for her alone, I guess she would have left that long time ago.
Posted by Mafy
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:48 PM
Number 17 is the baddest of them all, just like someone saying I knew right from few years after marriage this can't be forever but had to wait for 16 good more years to get it disentangled.
@Ruthk , your covertness is learning where that woman's is.
Hope you know.
Posted by Ticam
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:35 PM
Quote from: Biu on Sep 09, 2024, 05:24 PMA story where a man experienced a job loss and after some time the wife went ahead and bought a car without the husband having any engagement and without her attempting to help the man get up again in any way.
😲Wonders shall never end
QuoteIt was the thought of how could a wife I married turn how to be this callous that finally killed the man.
I'm not judging but your friend seems to be someone who could do the same. You did well.
I know, right?
Posted by Ticam
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:30 PM
Quote from: SweetNamida on Sep 09, 2024, 07:27 PMWhat if he got the money for the car within the two months? You never can tell🤷
Lol, he doesn't do business, he is a salary earner. I know him too well, he saves. He saves to acquire things like that.
Posted by SweetNamida
 - Sep 09, 2024, 07:27 PM
Quote from: Ticam on Sep 09, 2024, 05:09 PMMine was when I asked for a small favour from a friend to sponsor my movement from one city to another due to job loss. I knew for some reasons that our friendship was over even before then but at that point he told me he was broke.

Anyone could be broke, I was too and that's why I needed his help right? So, no big deal.

The shocking was that two months or thereabout later he bought a bigger car, not saying I wasn't happy for him. However the fact he couldn't loan me the little token I requested and bought a whole car some weeks after shows his kind of friend.

Like I said I was already waving him goodbye before due to some reasons (which revolves around his insensitive nature). Whether he borrowed me the money or not wouldn't have mattered much, and I was surely going to refund.
But that action buttressed the point that he shouldn't be in my life.

Before you start calling me a hater, note that the little token I asked for wouldn't have affected his purchase of the car in any way.
What if he got the money for the car within the two months? You never can tell🤷
Posted by Biu
 - Sep 09, 2024, 05:24 PM
Quote from: Ticam on Sep 09, 2024, 05:09 PMMine was when I asked for a small favour from a friend to sponsor my movement from one city to another due to job loss. I knew for some reasons that our friendship was over even before then but at that point he told me he was broke.

Anyone could be broke, I was too and that's why I needed his help right? So, no big deal.

The shocking was that two months or thereabout later he bought a bigger car, not saying I wasn't happy for him. However the fact he couldn't loan me the little token I requested and bought a whole car some weeks after shows his kind of friend.

Like I said I was already waving him goodbye before due to some reasons (which revolves around his insensitive nature). Whether he borrowed me the money or not wouldn't have mattered much, and I was surely going to refund.
But that action buttressed the point that he shouldn't be in my life.

Before you start calling me a hater, note that the little token I asked for wouldn't have affected his purchase of the car in any way.
No one would call you a hater, you did well by cutting an extremely selfish person off your neck.
An old friend told me something close to this, a story where a man experienced a job loss and after some time the wife went ahead and bought a car without the husband having any engagement and without her attempting to help the man get up again in any way. It was the thought of how could a wife I married turn how to be this callous that finally killed the man.
I'm not judging but your friend seems to be someone who could do the same. You did well.
Posted by Biu
 - Sep 09, 2024, 05:13 PM
Quote from: Rainy on Sep 09, 2024, 04:29 PMAlright, my uncle who happens to be a proprietor of the high school I attended intentionally didn't register me for an alternative high school graduation examination. All other classmates of mine were registered, his reasons... Till today no one knows. Although my dad who's his brother said what he told him was that I always perform excellently so he sees no reason why I needed the second/ alternative examination.

Before we got to know that I wasn't registered, I mean myself and my parents, time had gone. Registration closed!

All my mates were able to scale through this alternative examination while "none of us came out in flying colours with the main exam".

Almost all of them got admission on time except me, this delayed my tertiary education.

Well, I was offended but not much, I told my mum the next year that I didn't want anything to do with his school again, so my next registration must be in another school but it seems he knew our plans, this man got me registered this time immediately the registration started before we could even register somewhere else, and informed us about it. I got irritated really but still not much.

My plan was to re-enrolled properly as a student this time if it was another school but I couldn't due to the fact that it's the same school. I just studied at home and started writing the exam when it was time.

So one day, I entered the school compound and met him having a meeting with the teachers, of course, I only go in to the school when it was time for my exams and only a T-shirt, when I get into the school compound, I'll wear the school shirt on top of my breathable t-shirt. Not only me, there were many of us like that. Most people who weren't regular students, just there for the exam, were free to act this way.

That faithful day as I entered the school compound he pointed at me to come, I wondered why he would call me to a place where he was having a meeting with the teachers. I went to him anyways, and the next thing I saw was a HOT SLAP on my face, I was slapped heavily by him. I wish I was kidding but this is for real. Why he did that? Till today I don't have a clue as there were many external registered candidates that came in after me and even wore mufti and changed inside the school before proceeding to the exam hall.

But at this point, one thing became certain, all his actions from the past till that point was purposely to "HUMILIATE ME". Isn't it obvious? One of my immediate juniors came to meet me later that day and said "I'm so sorry, your uncle shouldn't have done that to you under any circumstances due to the condition on ground". Yes, they all saw the scene from their different classrooms.

Since I finished that exam several years ago, there has not been a tangible communication or relationship between me and him. That was really the end!
That's an uncle from the pit of hell. How can anyone be so insensitive?
Posted by Ruthk
 - Sep 09, 2024, 05:11 PM
Quote from: Bigowl on Sep 09, 2024, 04:53 PMHmm! Experience is the best teacher. I don't support the workplace friendship idea too though, you should notice on the thread. @ your last sentence, we will all get what we are hoping for, all our prayers would be answered.
Amen
Posted by Ticam
 - Sep 09, 2024, 05:09 PM
Mine was when I asked for a small favour from a friend to sponsor my movement from one city to another due to job loss. I knew for some reasons that our friendship was over even before then but at that point he told me he was broke.

Anyone could be broke, I was too and that's why I needed his help right? So, no big deal.

The shocking was that two months or thereabout later he bought a bigger car, not saying I wasn't happy for him. However the fact he couldn't loan me the little token I requested and bought a whole car some weeks after shows his kind of friend.

Like I said I was already waving him goodbye before due to some reasons (which revolves around his insensitive nature). Whether he borrowed me the money or not wouldn't have mattered much, and I was surely going to refund.
But that action buttressed the point that he shouldn't be in my life.

Before you start calling me a hater, note that the little token I asked for wouldn't have affected his purchase of the car in any way.
Posted by Bigowl
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:53 PM
Quote from: Ruthk on Sep 09, 2024, 04:44 PMMaybe, but this whole friendship thing is just totally out of my way. I don't need friends anymore, my mum is enough and if I get a good man in the nearest future that would be an additional friend.
Hmm! Experience is the best teacher. I don't support the workplace friendship idea too though, you should notice on the thread. @ your last sentence, we will all get what we are hoping for, all our prayers would be answered.
Posted by Ticam
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:47 PM
Quote from: Ruthk on Sep 09, 2024, 04:40 PMThis is another level of toxicity, the most toxic story I ever read. Thank goodness you cut ties with that kind of good for nothing uncle, it's obvious he needed you to always rob his ego, he would have done more.
That's more than "good for nothing". The uncle screams "I'm a complete narcissist". I'm glad you run from him @Rainy.
Posted by Ruthk
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:44 PM
Quote from: Bigowl on Sep 09, 2024, 04:33 PMPerhaps that's why you are strongly against keeping a friend in a workplace  on this thread
Maybe, but this whole friendship thing is just totally out of my way. I don't need friends anymore, my mum is enough and if I get a good man in the nearest future that would be an additional friend.
Posted by Ruthk
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:40 PM
Quote from: Rainy on Sep 09, 2024, 04:29 PMAlright, my uncle who happens to be a proprietor of the high school I attended intentionally didn't register me for an alternative high school graduation examination. All other classmates of mine were registered, his reasons... Till today no one knows. Although my dad who's his brother said what he told him was that I always perform excellently so he sees no reason why I needed the second/ alternative examination.

Before we got to know that I wasn't registered, I mean myself and my parents, time had gone. Registration closed!

All my mates were able to scale through this alternative examination while "none of us came out in flying colours with the main exam".

Almost all of them got admission on time except me, this delayed my tertiary education.

Well, I was offended but not much, I told my mum the next year that I didn't want anything to do with his school again, so my next registration must be in another school but it seems he knew our plans, this man got me registered this time immediately the registration started before we could even register somewhere else, and informed us about it. I got irritated really but still not much.

My plan was to re-enrolled properly as a student this time if it was another school but I couldn't due to the fact that it's the same school. I just studied at home and started writing the exam when it was time.

So one day, I entered the school compound and met him having a meeting with the teachers, of course, I only go in to the school when it was time for my exams and only a T-shirt, when I get into the school compound, I'll wear the school shirt on top of my breathable t-shirt. Not only me, there were many of us like that. Most people who weren't regular students, just there for the exam, were free to act this way.

That faithful day as I entered the school compound he pointed at me to come, I wondered why he would call me to a place where he was having a meeting with the teachers. I went to him anyways, and the next thing I saw was a HOT SLAP on my face, I was slapped heavily by him. I wish I was kidding but this is for real. Why he did that? Till today I don't have a clue as there were many external registered candidates that came in after me and even wore mufti and changed inside the school before proceeding to the exam hall.

But at this point, one thing became certain, all his actions from the past till that point was purposely to "HUMILIATE ME". Isn't it obvious? One of my immediate juniors came to meet me later that day and said "I'm so sorry, your uncle shouldn't have done that to you under any circumstances due to the condition on ground". Yes, they all saw the scene from their different classrooms.

Since I finished that exam several years ago, there has not been a tangible communication or relationship between me and him. That was really the end!
This is another level of toxicity, the most toxic story I ever read. Thank goodness you cut ties with that kind of good for nothing uncle, it's obvious he needed you to always rob his ego, he would have done more.
Posted by Bigowl
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:33 PM
Quote from: Ruthk on Sep 09, 2024, 03:26 PMMine was when a friend who also happened to be a colleague (we met at the workplace and at first clicked) seduced a man that was asking me out.
It didn't bother me 'cause I knew I wasn't interested in the guy anyways.
But it revealed who she was to me, she also had this idea of somewhat talking down on me e.g "you that doesn't know how things are going in the outside world", "you lack exposure" blah blah blah. I will look at her and smile, this is someone that I'm way more exposed than in every ramifications but she thinks otherwise because i'm a covert....lol. An incident later happened to her and I was the one who suggested a "street solution" to her. She was flabbergasted!

Within me, I would just look at her and smile, ...."what does this one know"? But I keep looking 'cause I'm not like her and wouldn't be, my self esteem isn't damaged like hers it's intact, I don't need to put anyone down to feel good and I can't really be bothered if an irrelevant or someone of little importance does that.

The straw broke when she seduced the man, and guess what? They didn't even date for 3 months😅

I didn't cut the ties immediately, (like I said I'm kind of a covert), it was little by little without her suspecting the actual reason, so even when they broke up I witnessed it.
Perhaps that's why you are strongly against keeping a friend in a workplace  on this thread
Posted by Rainy
 - Sep 09, 2024, 04:29 PM
Alright, my uncle who happens to be a proprietor of the high school I attended intentionally didn't register me for an alternative high school graduation examination. All other classmates of mine were registered, his reasons... Till today no one knows. Although my dad who's his brother said what he told him was that I always perform excellently so he sees no reason why I needed the second/ alternative examination.

Before we got to know that I wasn't registered, I mean myself and my parents, time had gone. Registration closed!

All my mates were able to scale through this alternative examination while "none of us came out in flying colours with the main exam".

Almost all of them got admission on time except me, this delayed my tertiary education.

Well, I was offended but not much, I told my mum the next year that I didn't want anything to do with his school again, so my next registration must be in another school but it seems he knew our plans, this man got me registered this time immediately the registration started before we could even register somewhere else, and informed us about it. I got irritated really but still not much.

My plan was to re-enrolled properly as a student this time if it was another school but I couldn't due to the fact that it's the same school. I just studied at home and started writing the exam when it was time.

So one day, I entered the school compound and met him having a meeting with the teachers, of course, I only go in to the school when it was time for my exams and only with a T-shirt on, when I get into the school compound, I'll wear the school shirt on top of my breathable t-shirt. Not only me, there were many of us like that. Most people who weren't regular students, just there for the exam, were free to act this way.

That faithful day as I entered the school compound he pointed at me to come, I wondered why he would call me to a place where he was having a meeting with the teachers. I went to him anyways, and the next thing I saw was a HOT SLAP on my face, I was slapped heavily by him. I wish I was kidding but this is for real. Why he did that? Till today I don't have a clue as there were many external registered candidates that came in after me and even wore mufti and changed inside the school before proceeding to the exam hall.

But at this point, one thing became certain, all his actions from the past till that point was purposely to "HUMILIATE ME". Isn't it obvious? One of my immediate juniors came to meet me later that day and said "I'm so sorry, your uncle shouldn't have done that to you under any circumstances due to the condition on ground". Yes, they all saw the scene from their different classrooms.

Since I finished that exam several years ago, there has not been a tangible communication or relationship between me and him. That was really the end!
Posted by Unknown
 - Sep 09, 2024, 03:50 PM
Quote from: Ruthk on Sep 09, 2024, 03:48 PMThis is serious! We ladies can be very appalling when it comes to the way we betray ourselves, it's just terrible. That was a bad experience, so sorry.
Thanks dearie.
Posted by Ruthk
 - Sep 09, 2024, 03:48 PM
Quote from: Unknown on Sep 09, 2024, 03:45 PMAn interesting article, let me be unknown here too please. It happened when I fell pregnant in my year one in the university and needed to go for a termination. Try not to judge me, it was a terrible mistake.

Who do I know or where could I go? I went to my best friend of so many years, almost a childhood friend and opened up to her, I asked how she could help knowing fully well her mum dispenses medicine and she has some ideas about things like this.

She chipped in some ideas but little did I know that I have become the talk of the town, I discovered she tabled my matter on purpose with her sisters when next I visited their house and the two sisters starting mocking me not in my absence, in my presence please. The worse part was her younger sister who is more or less like a younger one to me also.

Well, serious friendship of so many years got broken at that point. What's the purpose of friendship if we can't keep each other's secrets? Especially the dirty ones. It's more than 10 years already.

My parents and siblings still ask of her from me till today, that's how close we are. I tell them we are all now busy with life. She had contacted me for a little financial help about a year ago which I did but the friendship can never be there again.
Life goes on....
This is serious! We ladies can be very appalling when it comes to the way we betray ourselves, it's just terrible. That was a bad experience, so sorry.

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